omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
That accounts for only three of the penises
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
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