508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
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