stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
