i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
why is half of my head shaved?
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
