I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Holy sore nipples Batman
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
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