i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Randomize
