For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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