Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
