butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize