we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I have fence marks all over my body
After tacos, we're chasing women.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
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