There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Randomize
