I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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