FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Randomize
