Kiss
Puke
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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