p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Randomize
