Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
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