remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
