I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Randomize
