come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Randomize
