conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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