I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
In America we eat man semen.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Randomize
