i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
