i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Randomize
