he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
