I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Randomize
