I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize
