she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
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