please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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