Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Randomize
