We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
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