There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Randomize
