I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Randomize
