i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
