Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
