are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Randomize
