she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
