You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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