My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
