what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
