After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
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