You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
