also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
