Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Randomize
