He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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