So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Randomize
