This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
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If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
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Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
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