Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
