Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
Randomize
