I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
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