Already got asked if we're dating
Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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