My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize