my vag is so smooth its legendary
Dignity is for republicans.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize