He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
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