This is not my ceiling
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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