Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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