I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
This toilet bowl is my home.
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