like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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