Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Randomize
