I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
