my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Randomize
