Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
All the doctor said was why
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
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