you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
I just forgot I was standing up.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
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